It’s common to feel like you’re not good enough from time to time. You compare yourself to others, and find that you come up short. You might even feel like you’re not worthy of love or respect. This is especially true if you struggle with emotional self-esteem issues. But what’s the subconscious reason why you feel this way? And more importantly, what can you do about it? In this post, we’ll explore the subconscious reasons behind your emotional self-esteem struggles, and tips on how to overcome them.
Table of contents
Why do so many of us have difficulty accepting compliments?
The number one reason why people have difficulty accepting compliments is because they don’t believe they deserve them. This could be due to a number of things, such as low self-esteem or feeling like they’re not good enough.
Another reason why people might have trouble accepting compliments is because they’re afraid of what other people will think. They might worry that people will think they’re arrogant or conceited if they accept a compliment.
Lastly, some people simply don’t know how to react when someone pays them a compliment. They might feel awkward or embarrassed and not know what to say in return.
Do we tend to view ourselves more harshly than others do?
It’s a common saying that we are our own worst critics. And it turns out, there may be some truth to that. Research has shown that we often view ourselves more harshly than others do.
One study found that when people were asked to rate their own performance on a task, they were usually harsher in their assessment than when they rated someone else’s performance on the same task.
This tendency to be our own worst critics can have a negative impact on our self-esteem and well-being. If we’re constantly putting ourselves down, it can lead to low self-confidence and even depression.
How can we tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy levels of self-criticism?
First, it is important to consider the context in which the self-criticism is occurring. If an individual is constantly putting themselves down, even when they have done nothing wrong, this may be indicative of an unhealthy level of self-criticism.
Second, it is also important to look at the content of the self-criticism. If an individual is only focusing on their faults and weaknesses, instead of acknowledging their strengths and positive qualities, this may also be indicative of an unhealthy level of self-criticism.
Third, the way in which self-criticism is expressed is also important. If an individual is excessively harsh and unforgiving towards themselves, this may be indicative of an unhealthy level of self-criticism.
Why is it so hard for some of us to feel deserving of happiness and success?
One of the main reasons it can be difficult for some of us to feel deserving of happiness and success is because we have been taught that we need to suffer in order to be happy. We believe that we need to go through a lot of pain and struggle before we can finally reap the rewards. This way of thinking can prevent us from ever truly enjoying our lives and achieving our goals.
Another reason it can be hard for us to feel deserving of happiness and success is because we compare ourselves to others. We see other people who seem to have it all together and we think that we could never measure up. This comparison can leave us feeling inadequate and like we don’t deserve to be happy.
How can we learn to be more compassionate toward ourselves?
We can start by recognizing our own needs and feelings, and then taking action to care for ourselves. This might involve practices like self-compassion meditation, journaling, or spending time in nature. It is also important to be mindful of the language we use when talking to ourselves. For example, instead of berating ourselves for making a mistake, we can try to be understanding and gentle. Over time, with practice, we can develop a more compassionate relationship with ourselves.
What role does perfectionism play in emotional self-esteem?
Perfectionism can play a role in both positive and negative emotional self-esteem. On one hand, striving for perfection can be a motivating factor that drives people to achieve their goals. On the other hand, perfectionism can also lead to anxiety and depression if individuals feel they are constantly falling short of their own high standards. Perfectionism is often seen as a double-edged sword, and it is important to find a balance in order to maintain healthy emotional self-esteem.
How can we start to let go of self-doubt and negative self-beliefs?
One way to start letting go of self-doubt and negative self-beliefs is to become more aware of them. Once you are aware of these thoughts and feelings, you can begin to challenge and reframe them. For instance, instead of thinking “I’m not good enough,” try telling yourself “I am doing my best.” Or, instead of thinking “I can’t do this,” try saying to yourself “I can figure this out.”
Another way to start letting go of self-doubt and negative self-beliefs is to focus on your positive qualities and accomplishments. Make a list of things you are proud of that show how capable and competent you are. Refer to this list when you start to doubt yourself.
Finally, practice self-compassion. Cut yourself some slack and be kind to yourself when you make mistakes or feel like you’ve failed. Remember that everyone makes mistakes and has setbacks – it’s part of being human. Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can and that you deserve compassion and understanding, just like everyone else.
What are some healthy ways to deal with feelings of inadequacy and insecurity?
One way is to talk to someone who can offer you support and understanding. This could be a friend, family member, therapist, or counselor. Talking about your feelings can help you to feel more validated and less alone.
Another healthy way to deal with feelings of inadequacy and insecurity is to engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself. This could include things like exercise, writing, painting, or spending time outdoors. Doing things that make you feel good about yourself can help to boost your self-esteem and confidence.
Finally, it is also important to give yourself some time to adjust to any new situations or changes that may be causing you to feel insecure. It is normal to feel a bit off balance after experiencing something new or different. Give yourself some time to adapt and settle into the change before expecting too much from yourself.
How can we start to believe in ourselves more?
One way is to focus on our successes, no matter how small they may seem. Every time we accomplish something, no matter how small, we’re building evidence that we can do things and be successful. Over time, these successes will add up and help us to see ourselves in a more positive light.
Another way to start believing in ourselves more is to practice self-compassion. This means being kind and understanding towards ourselves, even when we make mistakes. We all stumble sometimes, but it’s important to remember that we’re still worthy of love and respect. Treating ourselves with compassion can help us to see ourselves in a more positive light and start believing in our own abilities.
What are some practical things we can do to boost our self-esteem?
1. Give yourself a break
We are often our own biggest critics and can be quite hard on ourselves. So one of the best things you can do for your self-esteem is to give yourself a break. Be more forgiving of yourself when you make mistakes and learn to accept your imperfections. Everyone makes mistakes – it’s part of being human.
2. Set realistic goals
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to achieve perfection. Instead, focus on setting realistic goals that you can actually achieve. Achieving even small goals can give your self-esteem a boost and help you feel more capable and competent.
3. Be assertive
Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and assert your needs and wants. This doesn’t mean being rude or aggressive, but simply having the confidence to express yourself in a way that is respectful of both yourself and others.
4. Be positive
Try to focus on the positive aspects of your life and yourself. This doesn’t mean pretending that everything is perfect, but simply refusing to dwell on the negative. When you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself, try to counter them with a more positive thought.
5. Spend time with positive people
The company you keep can have a big impact on your self-esteem. Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself and avoid those who bring you down. Surround yourself with positive people who will support your efforts to boost your self-esteem.
Takeaway
The good news is that you can do something about it. You don’t have to resign yourself to a life of feeling bad about yourself. There are steps you can take to start building up your emotional self-esteem, and we’re going to share some of them with you in this post. But before we do, let’s recap what we’ve talked about so far. We looked at three main reasons why people struggle with emotional self-esteem: childhood experiences, comparisons with others, and the critical inner voice. Then we explored four ways to start building up your emotional self-esteem: developing a growth mindset, setting healthy boundaries, practicing self-compassion, and seeking out supportive relationships.